Purplefingers’s Weblog

lately, ive been having thoughts of what will happen to us, my brother and i here in the US. i have truly disappointed my relatives here and my family back in the philippines for not being able to pass my nclex exam. all of the sacrifices, money and time went to waste. i felt that my world will crumble down upon me. upon hearing the sad news from my auntie that i failed, what immediately came to my mind is that i will be sent back to the philippines. lucky for my brother who got the job from a friend of my other auntie, he didnt have to worry so much. i was envious of him, how come he already have a job? what about me? im still a “pabigat” to my auntie here in washington. at that moment, i wanted to shout, so loud that even those creatures in pluto could here my plea. i wanted to just walked away and wander anywhere. how could this happen? what will happen to me now?

i cried a lot after pressing the end button from the phone. sat in one corner of my room and i heared my cousin marc coming towards me. i felt so weak and hopeless that i wanted to disappear like popping bubbles. i dont know how to tell my auntie an uncle about the news. i told marc that i didnt make it in the exam. i can see his in face disappointment and worry at the same time. he stayed with me in my room, while i was crying, he saw my tears falling down my cheek, he wanted to hug me but told him that im okay, that im fine.

night came, my auntie already knew what happened and she said that its fine, dont lose hope, just study harder, have perseverance and have focus. she too didnt pass the same exam when she took it, she did pass in her third time. so she feels sympathy towards me, she knew how it feels to be expecting to pass but then failed. she told me to be strong, and to stop crying! during those days that i was “mourning”, i wasnt able to text my friends, its been awhile since i updated them (sorry gene-no!)

the plan now is to just retake take, she’ll pay for my review and everything else. im so grateful that my auntie is here to help me out. im now back on track, reading again those two, three inches thick books, answering 100 to 300 a day if i feel like answering it and more foods to eat while reading.

im hoping for the best this time coz if dont make it again this time, i might as well be going back to pinas. our visa here (tourist visa) expires this march 2009. so, better be back than stay here as illegal and not be able to come here again and jeopardize my future.

A few days ago, I went back to California for my nclex exam. the exam was scheduled last November 7, 2008 at 2pm at Ontario, California. weeks before that scheduled exam, i arrived at the Ontario Airport (november 1). I was feeling kinda weird coz nobody was there to pick me up at that exact spot wher they told to stay after landing. Fuck. Im hungry from that two and a half hour flight and nobody is there to pick me up. im also feeling cold by the way coz its pretty late in the evening already. i waited outside the building for a good 20 minutes and finally the car arrived. it was tito paul, martin,justin and my own beloved brotha who barely recognized me coz of my new colored hair, courtesy of my auntie nelia who did the coloring and stuff. (thanks!!)

So here we are, at the freeway, blahblaablahblah, im now imagining that im having a warm bath after a good dinner. arriving at the door step of the uncles house, i noticed that there were plenty a shoes outside the door. hmmmmm….a party inside i guess? indeed it was.

my uncle nono is having his 4_th birthday party that night. a lot of unfamiliar faces, few booze, lotsa food. i was wondering if im in the right house, or did are we at our neighbors house. i didnt mind who those people are, i just started muching on the chocolate brownies and menudo and pakbet (mind you: not a good combination). i was freaking hungry i didnt had the chance to greet my uncle. hehehe! food is my priority of course!

Coming here to Washington for the first time was truly an amazing experience. being here with my cousins is another bunos. soon, its gonna be halloween, and my aunt took us to go to Stocker Farms Corn Maze and Pumpkin Patch. This is gonna be the first time for me to go to a corn maze and pick our own pumpkin for halloween. Patrick, Marc an I were dropped off and went to the maze all by our selves. The guy inside the booth gave us a map of the maze and be back to were we started. This is gonna be a good time to get lost in a maze…i thought to myself. Marc, Patrick’s little brother, lead us to the maze…he was the “captain” or so. A lot of people, family and friends were also having a great time finding their way out of the maze. This maze was a huge one, not those really easy kinda maze, this was tough. There were some tricky paths, crossing bridges and stuff like that. We kinda cheated our way though, hehehe! Nobody’s watching so its good! LOL.

Now for our pumpkins…go grab some Marc!!! this was really fun, choosing what kind of pumpkin to choose from these wide array of pumpkins…! Marc told me to pick the one that is not to big, orange colored pumpkins. It took us awhile and a few more steps into the farm to finally get one. That one on the right is mine. Perfect, aint it?! Hehehe! This is gonna be the first time i’ll ever carve a pumpkin for halloween. im so excited….!

Here’s some of the pictures from that day…

yesterday was another rainy day here in washington. so cold that when you leave a glass of warm water outside, it’ll be cold in a few minutes! danm, i wish i were in california now! where its HOT! im freezing to death here! so anyway, after doing some chores at home (vacuuming the carpet at the office and living room) my auntie and i went to a shopping spree, just buying some clothes for winter. after that tiring shopping, we drove to 99 ranch market to eat some chinese food and buy fish. while at the counter to pay what we bought, i saw some banner hanging up in the ceiling of the market…there’s some welcome greeting in different languages, korean, chinese, japanese…and also FILIPINO…(mabuhay!) nice that they added it up there. =)

this is my first time to experience hail here in washington. they’re not that huge though. my cousins (patrick and marc) even went out to go to the park near their house. outside, it was so cold, holding it in your palms made it numb.

shia le”buff” and michelle looked like they’re mother-and-son in this movie. they didnt even kiss even though they should’ve…it sucks. some girl inside the cinema shouted “go get ‘em girl!” all of us laughed!

the movie wasn’t that new to me, some scenes were like taken from another movie, like some of it, i saw in tom cruise’s futuristic movie, i just forgotten the title…it also sucked! some i remember from x-men, the thing,round thing where you through a long plank-thing and there’s like talking robots i think. lol. i actually dosed off while watching it. i did that like three times while this movie was playing. shia shia shia…shia-ng (sayang) ang talent fee mu dung! BITIIIN…!

these movie is ker-rey-zeh! dogs having a really good time inside a spa, with all their signatured clothing and blings! super funny..! and there’s this one “mexican” chihuahua whos a gardener/”landscape artist” who sweet talks in mexican (“mi corazon”), this socialite chihuahua. this stars the voice of drew barrymore as CHLOE, who is owned by a rich fashion designer played by JAMIE LEE CURTIS who went outta town and was taken care by jamie’s neice PIPER PERABO who then went to mexico and lost the chihuahua..poor thing!

oh well, by the end of the movie, i was thinking of buying a chihuahua for myself! =)

my auntie and i went to west covina a few days ago and went shopping at Filipino store along Manila Way. Its a typical site, wherein you can see old fellas sitting by the trees, talking about i dunno…stuff i guess from the past. along the corridor, old ladies selling tinapa (dried fish), banana cue and some kakanin. we were just passing by them, we went in the grocery.

strolling inside, i found myself in the snacks section and found…guess what, CHOCNUT and CURLYTOPS. boy i miss those days when youre like craving for sweets and wallah, here comes my two fave pinoy sweets! damn, its good! these two are better than M&M’s..hehehe!

i never thought “pechay” can be this big too, i held it in my hands and it was ginormous…its huge. the one we have back at the philippines, putek, walang sinabi ang pechay dito!  vegetables here come in extra large sizes, not those we usually have back home, their tiny! hehe! eggplants,bellpeppers..!

nilupak also is being sold at the pinoy bakery. the smell of pan de sal made me hungry!

weeehhh..finally i have one of these “blog” thingy gene-no and zizi have….!! they kept on bragging that i too should make one..

so here it is…i really dunno what to say yet. hopefully i can keep this blogging stuff.